Jalopticles - The Car God of Jeep Mythology

"scoob" (scoobsti) 09/17/2015 at 21:00 • Filed to: Jeep Mythology, Oppositelock

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The most important god the ancient Jeep Wranglers believed in was Jalopticles. Jalopticles was the god of cars, and had two brothers. His older brother, Boredites, was the god of appliances, and his younger brother, Ludditis, was the god of strength. The three fought nearly all the time.

In ancient Jeep mythology, Jalopticles is credited with creating the first ever system of manual gear changes, which he titled “ stikkratis” , known today as stickocracy. Over thousands of years, stickocracy has been refined and improved exponentially. Because this amazing system was so important to everyone from the ancient Jeep Wranglers to today’s Amanuals, ancient Jeeps is known around the world as the origin of stickocracy.

Unfortunately for Jalopticles and his followers, Boredites and Ludditis were opponents of stickocracy. Boredites came up with his own system of changing gears, titled “ aotonomos ”, or autonomy, and Ludditis preached for the ancient Jeep Wranglers to avoid machinery.

Thankfully, stickocracy lives on, especially in the United Shifts of Amanual. The Amanuals cherish stickocracy, and influence many other nations around the world to adopt stickocracy.

(Thanks to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! )

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > scoob 09/17/2015 at 21:20

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I want to put this in a history book. Or a museum. It’s good enough to deserve it.

scoob > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/17/2015 at 21:27

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I’ll admit, I thought this would get more attention lol.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > scoob 09/17/2015 at 21:38

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I wish it would. It’s good.

scoob > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/17/2015 at 21:50

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Thanks!

Hot Takes Salesman > scoob 09/17/2015 at 22:37

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Ha! I knew this would become something greater!

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > scoob 11/08/2015 at 19:45

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How did I miss this? Gave me a big ol’ smile.